Last year I realized that my Instagram feed was making me feel bad about myself and about my life. Whenever I opened up Instagram, my mood became increasingly sour. I debated deleting my account altogether but instead I decided to try something else – changing up my feed. I began unfollowing accounts that didn’t inspire, educate, or entertain me, and I began following more accounts that I related to and that diversified my feed and my mind. The accounts I follow now fall into a few buckets. These groups are not mutually exclusive, many accounts fall into multiple buckets:
I also unfollowed a lot of accounts. A big change was that I unfollowed influencers who I categorize as “aspirational” creators. In other words, their feeds are beautifully curated pictures of beautifully perfect lives that we’re all expected to aspire to – luxury travel, perfect food, perfect bodies, everything is aesthetically pleasing and color coordinated… You know what I mean. Everything is perfect. And in my view, not authentic. By unfollowing these feeds, I was making a conscious effort to focus on authenticity instead of aesthetics. I want accounts that show the good and the bad, the perfect and the imperfect, the human side of social media. I also unfollowed a lot of celebrities who I was following for no reason other than that they were a celebrity. When I look at my feed now, I feel good. I see inspiring, funny, awesome people who I would love to know in real life and who brighten up my day. So, if social media makes you feel bad, try this out and let me know if it helps! Questions? Thoughts? Let me know in the comments!
0 Comments
When people ask me if I would go back in time and choose the US again for college, I say yes. I say yes because in the last decade I've built a beautiful life and community here. I don't say yes because it's been an easy road. When they ask me if I recommend the US for international students who are debating this question today, especially those from countries in Asia or Africa, I'm hesitant to say yes because I don't recommend it as a first choice. Today I'm going to focus on the immigration system but the ways in which you are racialized in the US also contribute to my recommendation, but I'll save that for another post. The US immigration system is not designed to retain and advance international students into residents and ultimately citizens. You know this from the moment they issue you an F1 'non-immigrant' visa. This means there is no direct path to permanent residency, there is no guaranteed transition to a work visa (outside of a 1-3 year work permit called OPT), and there is an expectation that after you finish your studies, you will depart. For a lot of people that works out just fine. However, once you've been in a country for 4 years, maybe 6 years if you also do a master's or maybe 10+ if you add on a PhD... it's not always so easy to say goodbye. You might have formed personal connections & strong professional networks. You might have an internship that you love and want to advance into a full-time position. Most importantly, you might decide that you would like to stay and continue to contribute to your field. In the US, the choices you have are very limited. Maybe you'll win the coveted H-1B lottery, maybe you'll find an employer willing to sponsor you, but more often than not, you don't have a choice. For every Sundar Pichai who ends up getting a job and eventually becoming the CEO of Google, and for every Pramila Jayapal who ends up becoming a Congresswoman, there's thousands (maybe millions?) of students who weren't able to stay and who had to leave to go back to their home countries. Is it worth it then to take the risk? I'm not so sure. I know it's different in other countries. A friend of mine is wrapping up their education in Canada and told me that they would be receiving a 3 year work permit with a path to permanent residency. I know of another friend in the EU who also has residency there, although I'm not as clear on the pathway. My point is that in some other countries you might be given a choice on what you want to do, and in my opinion having a choice is a game changer. Not having a choice is disempowering. Seeing the look on employers' faces when you tell them you need visa sponsorship and realizing you're not going to get the job is disheartening. Watching your legal status expiration date approach without having any control over it is terrifying. Listening to the constant anti-immigrant rhetoric is exhausting. Knowing that you are not wanted is painful. And trust me, they will make it clear that you are not wanted. Get your education and get out is the sense I always got. Maybe things will change with the incoming Biden-Harris administration but I'm not holding my breath for any drastic changes overnight. For me personally it's my marriage that has opened up a pathway to residency for me, and honestly that makes me sad. It makes me sad because I've invested a lot of time in this country. I've worked in research that benefits American populations, taught primarily American college students, collaborated with American state and public agencies, and overall have made contributions to American society that I believe should warrant residency outside of my family situation. I'm not alone, I know of many others in the same boat... And it makes me reflect on whether I would have had a less stressful experience, spent less nights worrying about my legal status, in a country where my talents and skills were valued and sought after. Every country will have it's own set of challenges, I'm not saying that Canada or the EU are perfect. They probably have lots of challenges that I don't know about. But what I am saying, is to consider your options more carefully. I didn't even apply to colleges in other countries because I was so fixated on the US. I would encourage students at all levels, undergraduate and graduate, to look into all of your options before you make your decision. Do your research, you won't regret it! Questions? Thoughts? Let me know in the comments! My 2021 word of the year is JOY! I first hear of 'word of the year' while listening to one of my favorite podcasts, Acadames. Last year my word was boundaries (see previous blog post) and this year it's joy. It's been a difficult year for all of us, many have lost their loved ones, jobs, security, and routine. Too many have lost their lives. All of this led me to spend some time reflecting on my life and my choices. Am I making the most of my life? Am I choosing joy? The truth is, I wasn't. Like many others I felt I had fallen into a routine that didn't leave much time for quiet contemplating and intentionality. The break I took over winter, a true break, allowed me space to think deeply about why I spent so little time doing the things that brought me joy and so much time doing the things that didn't bring my any joy. To some extent, we'll always have to do things that don't spark joy (as Marie Kondo would say) -- every day at work and in life can't be rainbows and sunshine (if you've ever formatted a manuscript for a journal you know what I'm talking about)...But, shouldn't the good outweigh the bad? I recognize the immense place of privilege that I'm speaking from and I know that the reality is that unfortunately not everyone can afford the luxury of reprioritizing. However, I think many of us could refocus if we wanted to but too often we don't because life gets in the way. This year I'm choosing joy. I'm making an intentional effort to reprioritize; focusing on what truly matters to me, what inspires me, motivates me, and brings me fulfillment. Maybe that means collaborating on a project outside of my comfort zone, spending more time with my family, or even saying no to opportunities that don't serve me even if they seem enticing. If there’s one thing last year showed us, it’s that life is too short— too short to wait for your life to start, too short not to take care of yourself, & too short not to be happy with the one life you’ve got! Questions? Thoughts? Let me know in the comments! Boundary-setting is a skill that no one taught me and which I learned the hard way. Along with many other fields, academia glorifies overwork. Having a packed schedule, hastily eating lunch between meetings, writing grants until the wee hours of the night, and working 24/7 are tacitly encouraged and indicative of a 'hard-worker,' someone who is truly committed to their craft. It's not uncommon for many academics to have poor work-life balance, and to feel persistently burned out. This is especially true for graduate students who feel the weight of wanting to be seen as diligent and motivated colleagues who will go the extra mile. In the third year of my PhD, I took on additional responsibilities as a consequences of staff turnover and ended up overwhelmed and exhausted. Having no experience with boundary setting, I found myself working all the time, neglecting my personal relationships and my own physical and mental health. It took a toll. By the beginning of my fourth year, I was exhibiting all the classic signs of burnout: lack of motivation, cynicism, difficulty concentrating, irritability, low energy, etc. I had a decision to make: go on like this or change something. Given that it was also roughly 7 months into the COVID-19 pandemic, I decided something needed to change. More specifically, I needed to change. I began to define boundaries for myself including not responding to emails outside of my working hours and making a conscious effort not to work on weekends. Baby steps, but they worked. And you know what? Nothing happened. No one retaliated. No one thought I was a slacker. In fact, my work productivity improved because I was less stressed and more able to produce high-quality work... on weekdays from 9-5 only. This winter I'll be taking two weeks off and I'm planning to set very clear boundaries -- something I don't think I've ever done so intentionally. Here are my 4 tips for the holidays:
Questions? Thoughts? Let me know in the comments! |
AuthorI use this space to share my thoughts on a variety of academic and non-academic topics! Happy reading! Categories
All
Archives |